Here’s how each of the zodiac signs survive a bad economy.
TIP: the one for your Rising Sign generally describes your style best.
Layoff? No problem. Aries got a new, second, job last week just for the hell of it.
John D. Rockefeller, Sr. had Aries Rising.
Taurus survives in a bad economy by getting a second mortgage on his house to pay for his luxury car and furniture.
President Gerald Ford, Kate Middleton (Duchess of Cambridge), and David Letterman all have Taurus Rising.
Versatile Gemini survives a bad economy by moving temporarily to a place with a good economy. Then he invests in a multitasking gadget that replaces 90% of what he owns, including camera, phone, laptop, TV, and microwave.
Lady Gaga, LeBron James, and Tim Burton have Gemini Rising.
Cancer tries to move in with his girlfriend, but eventually moves in with Mother.
Mark Zuckerberg, Robert Pattinson, and Bill Gates are all Cancer Rising. President George W. Bush has Sun in Cancer.
Leo does something drastic, like have a baby, in order to draw attention away from the bad economy and onto herself/himself.
President Donald Trump, President George W. Bush, and Beyonce Knowles, all have Leo Rising. President Barack Obama has Sun in Leo.
Virgo asks, “Is it a bad economy?” Somehow, he’s the only one with a steady job and a growing bank account. He didn’t notice the bad economy since he’s been working and saving forever. He’s actually pretty excited that hot girls are giving him the time of day now.
President George H. W. Bush, Steve Jobs, and Will Ferrell are all Virgo Rising.
Libra survives a bad economy by accepting donations from his many fans and friends. He didn’t ask for any donations, people simply adore him. Looking good is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.
President Bill Clinton, Leonardo Dicaprio, Kate Winslet, President Jimmy Carter, and President John F. Kennedy, Jr. all have Libra Rising.
Scorpio is actually controlling the bad economy and could fix it simply by loosening his/her clutch a bit. Even if he released his clutch and Capricorn gained a foothold over him, Scorpio would survive because like cockroaches, Scorpio can survive anything.
Vladimir Putin and Justin Bieber have Scorpio Rising.
How Sagittarians survive a bad economy: they believe positive thinking works for them, but in fact, they’re just lucky.
Prince William (Duke of Cambridge), Oprah, Elvis Presley, Brad Pitt, and Mother Teresa all have Sagittarius Rising.
After proving that positive thinking doesn’t work (by laying off half of his employees), he creates a workable 5-step plan for success. He thinks his goal is to help the community get free from Scorpio’s grasp, and he’s designed a workable plan for a perfect economy and government. He follows his plan, reaches the top, then realizes all he wanted was Scorpio’s job.
Colin Farrell, Prince Harry of Wales, Elizabeth II, and Mao Zedong (Mao Tse-tung) all have Capricorn Rising.
In a bad economy, Aquarius rakes in the dough from interviews and speeches in which he talks about his crazy ideas to fix everything.
President Abraham Lincoln, President Barack Obama, Madonna, Lindsay Lohan, Adele (singer), Condoleezza Rice, and Jay Leno are all Aquarius Rising.
Pisces survives a bad economy by moving to Never-Never Land where the economy is always wonderful.
Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Demi Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr are all Pisces Rising.