People with Chiron in Taurus in their birth chart truly own their pain. They own it so much that they can appear to be masochists. They get comfortable with their pain. Here you have a whole batch of people who stay in painful situations longer than they should.
It’s not that Chiron in Taurus people enjoy the pain, but rather that they deal with it slowly. To begin with, the blows that they endured were slow and long-lasting. Chiron in Taurus people sense pain on an earthly plane. It’s physically, materialistically real to them. This is not something that can be easily blown off. It takes time to work through it.
Chiron in Taurus might brood or wallow in pain before finally deciding to make the best of it. Yet, they do finally make something beautiful and valuable come from their suffering. This ultimately serves to inspire others.
Chiron is about pain and healing. People with Chiron in Taurus can’t heal until they wallow in agony for a while, then finally arise, new and improved, and build real value out of their pain.
It’s the process of building something valuable that makes Chiron in Taurus feel better.
Speculation On Why Chiron in Taurus is Like That
Chiron was in Taurus between 1976 and 1984. Children with Chiron in Taurus went to elementary school during a time when computers and other technological gadgets were all the rave. There was always that one kid in every class who’s book report was typed on his fancy home computer and printed on his dot matrix printer. This truly fascinated the teacher, which made the rest of the class feel inferior for turning in a hand-written book report. These kids with Chiron in Taurus were the first batch of kids to feel the effects of the “Digital Divide” in school. It was all so new, there weren’t any programs to help students get affordable computers, yet.
Kids became popular for the gadgets they had. The early 1980s were a time of extreme excess. It was about showing off everything you had. “Keeping up with the Joneses” was not a new idea, but that game entered a new level of difficulty in the early 1980s. It was no longer about getting a fancy new toaster. It was about high-ticket items like computers, Walkmans, CD players, and gaming consoles.
And yet, the same gadgets that kids were required to own if they wanted to be accepted, were also those that the average household couldn’t afford.
When the Walkman first came out in 1979, the price was the equivalent of what would be $442 today.[1] The price of the Atari gaming console was the equivalent of $771 today.[2] And if you didn’t have one of those, nobody wanted to come to your house after school.
The majority of kids with Chiron in Taurus were forced to deal with a subtle, but real, feeling of inferiority. Regular, middle class kids who were not poor were all of a sudden made to feel poor. If you didn’t have a computer, or a Walkman, or an Atari, you must be poor, they thought.
Although the commercials of this era made it seem like everyone had fancy gadgets, the truth is that most households did not. It was only a minority of kids that could afford these things, just enough to make everyone else feel poor. Kids were constantly bombarded with commercials representing 1980s materialism. Materialism has always been around, but it reached new heights in the 1980s.
Children with Chiron in Taurus learned that what was most important, both in school and in the neighborhood, was what you owned, not how intelligent or nice you were.
Previously, Chiron was in Taurus between 1926 and 1934. We all know about the widespread poverty that plagued this era, but did you know that it was also a time of excess and materialism, just like in the 1980s? During The Great Depression, there were also wealthy people, in the early 1930s, that were actually flaunting their wealth in ostentatious displays.[3] It was so bad that PBS History Detectives said, “America has never again seen such obvious excess at a time of widespread poverty.”[4]
Thus, the regular majority had to deal with not just poverty, but also a sense that they were inferior to the upper class.
In both “Chiron in Taurus” eras, the poignant differences between the “Haves and the Have-Nots” caused a real sense of inferiority. Even the “Haves” had to deal with being labeled as “bad guys” just for their prosperity. So, let’s cut some slack to people with Chiron in Taurus.
If you were born with Chiron in Taurus, be proud. You’ve learned how to build real value. You’ve learned how to use the cards you were dealt to build beautiful things.
Others may not know what to do when life crushes them, but you know how to use your pain for productivity. So, your parents couldn’t afford to buy you an Atari, but you finally learned that if you work after school, you could save enough to buy what you want.
Actually, in Taurus, Chiron doesn’t just heal, but it rebuilds and improves.
For you to experience the Chiron energy in your life, Chiron must be placed strongly in your birth chart. Chiron is strong in one of the angular houses, or in aspect with a personal planet. The House in your birth chart that Chiron is in will be the place where you’ll experience the Chiron energy the most. As with any planet, the energy will be felt especially strongly if it’s on your Ascendant. Chiron conjunct the Ascendant will manifest in robust, and sometimes literal, ways, which we’ll see in the following example.
Bill Russell, Chiron Conjunct Ascendant in Taurus
Bill Russell, the NBA basketball player for the Boston Celtics, has Chiron in conjunction to his Ascendant in Taurus with an orb of less than 2 degrees. In addition to dealing with poverty, he was made to feel inferior many times in his life. Bill Russell is a 5-time basketball MVP, but you would have never guessed it when he was cut from his junior high basketball team. He worked hard to improve his game, and he became “one of the most successful and decorated athletes in North American sports history.”[5]
He didn’t just build this for himself. “He also inspired his teammates to elevate their own defensive play.”[5]
What Chiron in Taurus Teaches Us
People with Chiron in Taurus can teach us how to make a beautiful quilt out of the scraps we’re given. They teach us how to make lemonade out of lemons. They teach us how to make the best with the hand we’re dealt. They show us what real value looks like.
We do not accept that ours will ever be a nation of haves and have-nots. We must always be a nation of haves and soon-to-haves.[6]
Notes
- Stump, S. (2014, July 1). The Walkman turns 35: What was the first song you played on one?. Today.com. Retrieved September 6, 2015, from http://www.today.com/popculture/walkman-turns-35-what-was-first-song-you-played-1D79871818
- Moriarty, C. (2013, October 15). The Real Cost of Gaming: Inflation, Time, and Purchasing Power. IGN. Retrieved September 6, 2015, from http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/10/15/the-real-cost-of-gaming-inflation-time-and-purchasing-power
- Relations of Class in the Great Depression. American Studies Program
at the University of Virginia. Retrieved September 6, 2015, from http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ug02/newyorker/class.html - 1930s High Society. HISTORY DETECTIVES SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS. Retrieved September 6, 2015, from http://www.pbs.org/opb/historydetectives/feature/1930s-high-society/
- Bill Russell. (2015, September 4). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 22:08, September 6, 2015, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bill_Russell&oldid=679348049
- Mitch Daniels. (n.d.). BrainyQuote.com. Retrieved September 6, 2015, from BrainyQuote.com Web site: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mitchdanie425225.html
Image credit: Earth Man by Ron Sanderson (http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=57932&picture=earth-man)
MIchael
awesome. I have chiron in taurus 4th house, i think it has had a lot to do with learning to be a rock, unshakeable inside no matter what. And I truly have done that over the years. Trouble is, im seldom living without some sort of major stressor.
My sun is pisces (3rd House) and i have venus in pisces in the 2nd house, Mars in anaretic late degree of scorpio in the 10th house, i grew up suffering somewhat from extreme insecurity and emotional sensitivity and somehow I have learnt to surmount that and function as a very independent human + being.
Erin
I feel you. I share much of that, albe it, Chiron and mars are both at 11 degrees of Taurus. And my Venus is at 16 so while I have Venus at home, she’s quite wounded. Being a few years from my Chiron return, most has been dealt with and with that mars I’ll fight for life, but it’s been a tough reality at times a. I hope you’re well, still. Being this article is a million years old .
Norrin
I came here looking for why I use indulgent consumption/addictive behavior in response to disappointment, pain. This sounds a lot bigger than that, but it is my way of expressing it. I’m an Aries Asc, so my Taurus is also 2nd House, which makes me feel like it is “extra Taurus”. I also have a my sun and moon in fixed signs and wonder if there’s something more extreme about this Taurus energy because of it. It was recently a Taurus “supermoon” and I got extremely sick around that time due to this problem then saw a lot of messages from my higher power/synchronicity that were telling me “yep, this is Taurus, trying to ground you.”
I also have one of the Lilith placements in Taurus. I feel a lot of difficult energy with Taurus that I just cannot get to the bottom of. I have a ton of things in my MC Capricorn, including a heavily felt S. Node (past lives they say), and I have a positive feeling towards that Capricorn dominating drive kind of earth energy, so I don’t think it’s an aversion to earth/grounding. But maybe the fixed sign aspect to my Chiron and Lilith issues has to do with why I feel particularly hit hard with my 2nd House Taurus Chiron? I can research this kind of stuff endlessly, but can’t find out… wth to do about it. It’s like watching a replay of a car crash over and over, thinking there’s some way to change it by knowing it intimately. But I can’t look away. Taurus Chiron really does “own their pain” something fierce, and I’ve often thought that my extremely empathic and sensitive nature basically ‘feels the pain’ of the planet. As a Moon in Scorpio, I’ve always felt like something of a psychic janitor, emotional trash can or something… but this Taurus issue is a very physical kind of hurt that I just don’t understand.
Christy Abram
Great read. My Chiron is in the 11th house. I find it very difficult to keep and make friends. Trust is a huge factor. I’ve been disappointed a lot by so called, “friends”. This article gave me a lot of perspective. Thanks for sharing.
LYNN TAN
I am also like you Chiron in Taurus in the 11th House. I know I am a true dedicated friend but I am let down and betrayed by the closest friends or BFFs all my life.
but the article is very clear, I am exactly as described.
Collette
Hi Christy I absolutely feel the same as u do. For years I thought something was wrong with me. But I just figured out. The. Real meaning of things in life and my perspective. Of what this and that should b. And what a friend means to me. And so I view it as. If it’s not the best and I can’t impact my. “friend to. Shoot for the Stars with me. And. Okay. Are you ready for this one
For another person to. “Understand. What. And who I am. And I’m just fed the up. With. People totally not understanding the way I am looking at the friendship. Like I honestly have been blessed to have. Maybe 2 people in the whole world to understand my views. People like us I suppose you can say are the most simple most contridicting. Sign of the chart.
Alexandra
I disagree with most of it. I have Chiron in Taurus. This means that we had an unstable home, unstable foundation. We never found stability in life, and probably will not find physical stability until Chiron returns into Taurus. Our foundation was simply destroyed early in life. And Chiron is there to heal from it. You know, Chiron itself IS WOUNDED. He is wounded so that he can heal from it, and teach others what it was like to grow up with a no foundation in life. Our parents ripped our foundation away. That’s Chiron in Taurus for you: having selfish parents, baby-boomer parents!
Cindy
I agree with you, I went through the same thing…
Anastasia
A very good comment. I agree to it fully. Adding up that managing pain takes a long time with this placement. No foundation, inferiority and struggling to heal is all there. I had extremely abusive childhood. But I agree to the article as well- materialism was a thing and my family was poor. But values formed are of a high Taurus octave. It’s a blend of all those things mentioned. The sign is fixed, earthy, it adds up heaviness and gravity. It’s a tough thing for me. The bottom line is that it heals very slowly and you learn to build foundation if you don’t want end up bleeding to the end.
Claudia
I agree that the destroyed foundation is on a high priority spot rather than materialism and inferiority (as consequences anyway) for this jolly slot of people….
Lib
I totally agree. I moved from state to state as a child. No foundation or stability. It made me very insecure. I w@s an active addict for 17 years. I’m sure it played a major role. It took me a long time to heal. Recovery and dealing with my childhood issues really helps.
Rachel
I have Chiron in Taurus in the late anaretic degree, second house…and also had this experience. I never felt that I had a foundation, emotionally or physically, until I established my own very recently at age 36.
Calista
Samesies reading this article and some others, I think the part that’s missing is the house, you must, like me have Chiron in Taurus in your 4th house. This article is only about Chiron in Taurus. If you find the house it is in you will get a more detailed and intense description.
Charlene
Baby boomer parents were not unlovable they only knew what they were taught. Not being three generations from slavery nobody knew love they just did what they was told so what could they teach you but what they knew each generation grew to learn what love was and to pass it on. What the baby boomer had that you don’t have is the ability to discipline their children it’s your children that do not have the equipment to build a stable life it is these children that have put a gap between the generations it is these children that we see in Congress and the Senate arguing instead of getting things done. More discipline was needed
Wolfgirl
My sun is in taurus, which is sitting in the 8th house right along with Chiron. My ascendant is libra, in 1st house of course so, and my moon is in Cancer along with my midheaven..very emotionally charged woman here yes indeed. I can feel anyone as if im connected and I pick up on pain or suffering as if I owned it. I have a lot going on, as one could imagine..maybe not fathom, lol. That’s ok I’m willing to share my pain to help others. That’s what I’m going to do with it one day. ☺✌
Filipe
Please write a chiron in gemini article! It’s been 5 months already… So curious to see your take on it. Thank you!
Allison Taylor-Moseley
I’m a Chiron Taurus in my 3rd house and I definitely agree with the slow, long lasting blows part. I spent at least 8 years during my adolescence (11-18) where I describe my home as a place where there was basically no emotionally support. If they weren’t lecturing me on how to be a better person, they were pushing me out of their room, so they could talk or be alone, this was during a time when I was going through very rough stuff at school (11-18), emotionally, and they were completely disassociated from what I was experiencing. They weren’t present emotionally.
I also had a lot of issues with my only sibling, a sister, during that time, (3rd house represents SIBLINGS). It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized that my home was not “normal”. There was no love, very weak interpersonal relationships, very broken! My parents treated us like we were responsibilities, just another “thing” to take care of, no quality time or relationship was ever really formed.
I was able to turn this into something of VALUE because I spent most of those years dreaming about what it was going to be like when I left, and after I left I DIDNT LOOK BACK. And, I spent the rest of my life (I am now 40) making every day count. Making every day be a happy day! i have also turned my pain into a way to connect with others. And, my experiences during those years have made me the parent that I am today, and the friend that I am today. I spent a lot of time thinking during those years, escaping into what I was going to do with myself to better my life and be a happy person. And, still, to this day, I think about those years in my home as a prison, but also the most forming and painful years of my life.
As far as TECHNOLOGIES go, we were one of those families that was able to afford those new technologies (but that didnt keep us from wanting more), and I do clearly remember money being a huge topic in our family. I was taught that you have to have money to buy THINGS. THINGS were VERY important in my family. You need a nice home, you have to own 2 cars, go on vacations, have nice clothes from nice stores (not walmart eew!), and my Dad talked incessantly about money, cars, boats, a second home, and winning the lotto. :) If I didn’t want to do my chores, my father would say things like,”You better make a lot of money so you can afford a maid one day.” THe obsession with things and money is still a part of my parents’ mentality (after all, they come from a different time, and were very poor growing up and came up in the world class/money-wise), but I have recently been really disconnected from “things”.
Also, it makes a huge difference for me that Chiron is not only in Taurus, but its also right next to my IC, which is Taurus. Your IC is what you come into the world with, but not what you are moving towards, because you are moving towards your MC (Scorpio). So, I think I came into this world with Taurus in Chiron mentality, and my goal is to work towards spiritual happiness (Scorpio) versus material happiness (Taurus).
I also would like to say that I have extreme compassion for my parents and their upbringing. Their’s was not an easy one either, and we have to remember every parent is doing their best with what they have.
M
My mother always told me 1) that my taste was too expensive and that I had apparently been born into the wrong family and 2) that I had better get a good job to support my lifestyle. Your story resonates with me. I felt so alienated by my mother’s comments. I have Mars and Saturn in Libra and love beauty, harmony, and quality. These are positive qualities. My mother rejected my interest in aesthetics.
John -Paul Hunt
Amen to that in 2027 for me in the coming transit post insanity of chiron in Aries.
Laurelle Adjani
Taurus is an Earth sign and the lack of materialism doesn’t resonate with me. I grew up with a 4th house in Chiron in Taurus and we always had the newest computers and nintendo. I owe the computer we had in 1984 to my ability to understand all things technological.
Both my parents were never around. They were always too busy to talk with us even if they were in the same room, but they BOUGHT us things. Things = Love. That was the main message. The message was no one would love me without money. I had to have money in order for anyone to love me. At near 40 years-old, I realize this is not true and I wish I had understood it in my 20s.
I had everything a girl could want for materialistically, so no one care if my father beat me or if I was called a derogatory names all the time. No one cared that my mother laughed at me when I suggested we do a spa day because my parents were very affluent. This was the 1980s Reagan era and there was massive priority on having goods and things.
I disagree with the idea that Chiron in Taurus in the 4th house indicates a lack of material comforts, but I believe it indicates that material comforts were the foundation of love. Taurus is the house of material comforts….
loreli
This comment of yours resonated with me more than the others, and more than most of the article. I have Chiron in Taurus in the 4th house, opposition Sun in 10th house (within one degree). This isn’t so much about lack and healing as it is an understanding, a comprehension of something that was vast and incalculable when I was a child: answers about my childhood that did not come upon me until I was over the age of thirty (Saturn Return). But I have a Sagittarius Rising and knowledge is my armor. It’s not unfathomable to me that I would want to know why and how the nuances of my younger years afflicted me with insecurity and a sense of desolation. Chiron is isolated in my chart: no other planets surround it. I, too, grew up not in an entirely unloving household but in one that seemed full of emotional shadows, and I couldn’t get much of the support I needed, especially when it came to school. We moved around a lot, too, and I got too used to leaving behind people I cared about while not exactly learning the finesse of self-reliance.
Chiron is also Trine Saturn (Saturn in 9th House), and again my need for knowledge comes into play, to better defend myself in the future, and pass that awareness on. No matter how often people I know ask for advice, I give it succinctly and with clipped tones because I know they won’t listen. Even though I’m big into charities and I want to help other people as much as I can, healing is a private and personal thing that cannot be done unless the person needing the healing takes the first step herself.
Chiron has also helped me shrug off a lot of life’s crises, and to stay motivated on my own dreams even when things are rough. Even when trying to help myself through some of the deepest pains of my life, there is always an authority figure hovering too close to me that isn’t supportive and tries to ruin it. I’ve seen that archetypal catalyst a lot, and now that I’m aware of its shape and form and function, I can shrug it off, too.
While I don’t think that Chiron in Taurus in the 4th house is all about creature comforts and material goods, I think it can be but only minimally. It was more like we were the commodities as kids, a vehicle upon which those dollars and cents were spent in order to continue perpetuating the false front of “the good life.” We grew up middle-class, sometimes lower, sometimes upper, but my father was a real hedonist who spent most of the money he had on his girlfriend (while my parents were still married, and, as a child, I suspect I wasn’t supposed to know about the girlfriends but I always did), and he borrowed money from my mom that he never paid back. I can see how knowing this and being aware of it has changed my outlook on money, too. For a long time I saw it as something evil… perhaps I associated it too strongly with the quote, “Money is the key to a man’s dark secrets.” Because of this belief, I’ve always had low-paying jobs and never amounted to much. I’m trying to change my attitude towards money while still keeping it at arm’s length.
Chiron is not the spot in the chart of a void or an absence, unless that absence is representative of pain. Chiron is our place of sensitivity, the bullseye of our healing. I’m fascinated by the fact that there are only a small amount of comments on this article, yet most of them seem to have Chiron in the 4th house, or in the lower half of the chart (childhood/younger self). Be good to yourselves!
Dustin
I’m an ♒ opposition in ♌ and I have chiron at 9° ♉ 1st house which is left side of Grand Earth Trine in Capricorn and i checked synastry chart with my wife and both chiron are almost exact in ♉ 3rd house!
Cristina
Hello everyone. I have quiron in taurus in the 6th house, oposite my asc escorpio in 1st house. I agree with the comment “I never felt that I had a foundation, emotionally or physically”, also I moved many times in a part of my childhood, my adolescence and as an adult. Also a strong feeling of inferiority and having been ignored or less valued it has been with me for a long time, now a little less but continues.
Day by day I have to continue learning, maturing and growing for my well-being and people around me. Sometimes it tires me.
Thanks for this space.
Lunalunay
I am a Chiron in Taurus. I feel like this analysis doesn’t really capture our childhood. Computers and gadgets were not a huge thing in the 80’s. Technology was emerging, but it wasn’t a big part of how we interacted with each other. Sure, there were people with computers and people without, but I don’t remember computers defining our childhood. We were creative. I remember making video games out of paper, playing cops and robbers, sardines, outdoor games. The age of full technology didn’t really happen til the late 90’s early 2000’s. I wouldn’t say technology defined my childhood in any way.
The Tall Guy
Thanks for the article. I got the point you were trying to make with tech, and I think the over all theme I got was -Difference vs Indifference – and in the case of us with this placement, it’s unfair or unwarranted indifference that shows up in our lives, in different ways-but it’s at NO FAULT of our own- and almost unjustified. For me, it was bullying or being looked at as less than by my peers because I was less masculine as the other boys. Or I was seen as a little dumb and incapable, by my parents and grandparents, although no one ever took the time to see the type of ways I learned for the exception of one relative.
and the early part of my life was very very difficult- moving a lot- not having a person who could genuinely attend to me unless they had to have the responsibility of watching me while my parents were busy being…away..lol But like a tough hike, or for me-long division- once I tackle the hurdle of feeling alone, which I suppose we all feel at times, I find inner strength to sort things out- and use the hurtful blocks that are stopping me, as stepping stones to become the person – because there’s an inner knowing that some where lies within, a strength that was made for the crazy ish we went through in life. Some one said- a certain kind of rejection can reshape a persons heart- and for me, it reshaped it into a sword, or an axe- to chop thru the crap-o-la of life now lol
It’s as if we were in the past in “Back to The Future” the hover board/ skate board would have probably been invented by a Chiron N Taurus person after having the rug pulled out from under them all their child hood. lol
My bday is 12/11, just in the nick of time to hardly ever get anything for my bday lol but I UNDERSTAND and dont let it bother me at all, but theres that Chiron in Taurus indifference- My birthdays just like any one else’s, but like those of us near or on a holiday- we have to accept that its different than others lol
* but Im now giving gifts for my bday rather than getting them because I know- my life would pretty much suck without those people in it, and because it is a time thats financially straining
Al z
Not everyone grew up is the USA with tech stuff, we didn’t even have potato chips in the USSR in the 80’s.
Also my grandma grew up during a famine in Ukraine and Russia also Chiron in Taurus 1928.
Elisha
Anyone want to interpret what chiron (19°33′)conjunct moon(18°22′) in taurus in house 7 is like? Is there any hope? ANY?
1123
I’d love insight on this as well. I have Chiron in Taurus in my 7th house. So far I’ve experienced letdowns and impossible relationship situations and ironically that’s all I really want. I feel I should just give up but I can’t…
GBusjahn
Hahaha Lemons into lemonaid….on it! I laugh bc I was a have not, and I learned how to adapt to that experience. I do remember getting teased for a shirt I had from a garage sale it was an Az state tourist shirt but do remember 2 girls making fun of me for it. I felt ashamed for being poor. I only once wanted jeans that were 50$, but soon she that I could get more Jean’s for50$ than just one pair. Also, my Grandparents are from the Depression era. Many stories of ppl without, lots of examples of being poor and how to survive. I’m happy, and if bad stuff comes along yeah, I know how to deal and I think that is a fine quality.
mecca79
I have Chiron in Taurus in the ninth house…honestly I’m not even sure what it means. reading the article just makes me want to understand my Chiron Taurus placement even more as i see people have Chiron Taurus in different houses..
Veronica
This is a great article about Chiron in Taurus. We are coming up another Chiron in Taurus time in the next few years, just as technology will jump to virtual reality and all sorts of new things and I believe we will see this divide once again.
Pandora
Omg! This is so spot on and insightful! Plz plz plz do one for Chiron in cancer 🙏🏻
Nine Johnson
This was an interesting perspective on Chiron in Taurus. I Have Chiron in Taurus at 22 degrees. In the 7th house. Raised by a single mother that did everything in her power to give my brother and I everything we could possibly need in life. And true to your description of the 80’s we had everything you described from the Walkmans to every video game console, to computers, cable TV, BMX / Dyno Bikes, 10 speeds, skateboards, roller blades, transformers, Ninja turtles, Karate classes, Cub Scouts. Our house was the house all my friends came too, to escape the feeling of being a have not. And I loved it because I am an 11th-house Virgo. So I had many friends over the house after school all the time. But what I never got was my mother’s attention because she was always at work, and my dad was gone. So my sense of self-worth manifested as being the friend that had all of the valuable things. I had all the friends, all the clothes, all the toys, all the cars, all of the stuff, but felt empty inside, and lonely, and desperately feared being outcast and abandoned. I was so codependent with my friends that every car I have ever purchased has always been intended for road trips. Everything I buy is intended to be shared.
How Kyron transits manifest in my life, as an adult the major transits resulted in my being forced to move out of my home and losing half of my belongings 3 times in my life. As a kid, I consistently had my bikes, skateboards, scooters, Walkmans and so much more stolen many times in my life. And I have lost major friendships 5 times in my life. All of these events were designed to challenge the part of my Ego that creates security by way of having nice things to draw people to me. To make myself likable because I’m the kid with all the nice shit. And I am not a materialistic superficial person, I am a Virgo/11th house, that Aquarius energy in my identity loves people, and loves sharing. I never really even liked video games, I liked laughing with my friends as they played them. I liked watching movies and cable tv with my friends. I made up for the family i didn’t have, with friends. And honestly, I couldn’t even tell you if some of my friends were using me because I didn’t care. As long as they weren’t mean, I LOVED having them around and sharing my space with them.
The 7th house aspect of my Chiron wound was never really getting the attention and friendship I wanted from my mother. So I sought to achieve it in dating. lol, I had a different girlfriend from the 3rd grade to the 12th every year. That is my Libra Ascendant quality. But it never failed, no matter how good I was, how supportive I was, how kind I was, my Chiron wound would manifest as them having to move away or feel like they didn’t deserve how well I treated them, so they would try to hurt me badly to push me away. And as I write this I am realizing that I was the 80’s kid with all the cool shit, and all the friends, which is why I was bullied all throughout grade school. And even some of my friends would take the occasional cheap shots at me. I also have Neptune square my Virgo/11th house Sun, so I have always been oblivious to how people perceived me. It was only when I turned 40 did I realize that many of my friends were jealous of me. And only now, am I seeing why. I had everything as a kid except parents that had time for me. But to my friends, I HAD IT ALL! Every toy a boy could want and a girlfriend every year. DAMN! I never saw that perspective at all, my natal Neptune square my Sun, made me experience all of that as a desperate loser, in spite of the fact that I was popular, cared for, and highly supported.
What I have learned in regard to healing these wounds is this. Chiron in 7th house Taurus transits will continue to take all my shit until I realize, the things I have aren’t what makes me special. I am inherently special and important without friends, a beautiful girlfriend, nice condos, cars, clothes, etc. All of those things are my shadow identity. They are manifestations of my childhood abandonment anxiety and sense of low self-value. To heal my Chiron wound I must sacrifice my Ego Identity (Shadow Identity) and rediscover how valuable & Important I am to myself, for myself. And after doing so, cultivate a new relationship with my 2nd house, and everything I have of value. I definitely don’t need so many friends, nor do I need to identify with them codependently in the way that I used to. I need to be more flexible with change, and not see anything I own as an extension of my security or personal value. My connection with myself, my inner child, my soul, and my higher self is the central foundation of my security.
All of which will allow me to resonate with where I am going, and not with the fear of losing what I am attached to. Only then will my Chiron transits stop just taking everything I hold dear from me, with the intent to give me the experience of how strongly I identified with it. Cause I can tell you, each loss was DEVASTATING. Beyond heartbreaking. But now at 41 years old, I can see the lessons in hindsight. Everything I lost hurt so badly because I was so codependent and enmeshed with it all. I didn’t know where I start and they all ended, I was them and they were me. So when they were taken, I had to deeply grieve a loss of a part of me.
But now I have learned the art of self-differentiation. I have cultivated my own identity, apart from the people places, and things I am associated with. And that is the extent of my relationship with people, and the things that I own. We are related by the degree of proximity, associated by preference, and no matter how special they may be to me in their own independent existence. I now know how to differentiate my identity from theirs, and my value from theirs. No matter if it is a person, place, or thing. I am and always was, whole perfect and complete, as I am. With flaws, insecurities, and all. My value to me is inherent in my ability to explore various ways of being myself in every moment. That is why I am important to me, I am the only life I have to live. So what, or who, can I perceive to be of more value than that, relative to the way I value myself? From this point of view, I accept myself unconditionally and hold myself as the most important aspect of my life relative to my self-image, self-value, and identity – flaws and all.