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Virgo in Love

Virgo couple in love

Updated August 28, 2018
Originally posted June 27, 2011
By Corinne Lane     20 Comments

“I Love Helping”

The first secret to know about a Virgo in love is that it does NOT refer to a sun-sign Virgo person. Only someone with the planet Venus in Virgo will be a “Virgo in love.” (Find out your Venus sign with our Venus Sign Calculator.)

Venus in Virgo is a modest, shy lover. They express love by being helpful, serving you, and criticizing you. Yes, when you find them constantly nagging and correcting you, it means they care. They are simply holding you to the same high standard that they hold themselves to – that of perfection. While they are humble, they are also conscientious. They feel it absolutely necessary to call out your mistakes when they catch them. This will happen often since they have an extremely high attention for detail. Venus in Virgo is endowed with exceptional analytical skills. So if they correct you, they are usually right. But remember, that is how they show that they love you. If they stop criticizing, they have stopped caring.

Self-improvement is the goal for Venus in Virgo. They strive to be perfect in every area of their life, but particularly in the areas of health, diet, and work ethics. When one loves you, they add you to their self-improvement checklist. But Virgo is one of the most helpful signs in the zodiac. Your Virgo lover will not simply tell you that you need to do more cardio exercise; they will wake up at 5am to jog with you every morning. They will not just tell you that your home is a mess; they will clean it for you. They will not just tell you that you need to eat healthier; they will show up at your home with grocery bags full of veggies. They will change their own diet if it means helping you. And you couldn’t stop them. For a Virgo, serving others actually provides them emotional satisfaction. They do it because it makes them feel good.

In bed with a Virgo lover, prepare to be analyzed and pleased from head to toe. They will take their time exploring every nook and cranny on your body until they find your “spot.” This is a thorough lover. The Venus in Virgo male is turned on by clean, hygienic, nerdy women. Not the smart peppy type of nerdy like Venus in Gemini likes, but rather a quiet nerdy manner and appearance. He prefers modest, humble, nice girls, but he can also get turned on by a bad girl in a “school girl” outfit with glasses. The Venus in Virgo lady always looks smart, and as near perfect as one can be.

Some celebrities with Venus in Virgo include Catherine Zeta-Jones, Julia Roberts, Robert de Niro, and Eminem ( Marshall Mathers ).

Virgo lovers can be clingy, but they are also timid and reserved. Their reserved nature comes from the fact that they are inwardly criticizing themselves all the time. They alternate between holding back, and stepping in to help you. At worst, their over-helpfulness, petty criticisms, or natural reserved nature can interfere with emotional give-and-take and the expression of passion. You’ll know they love you because they help you do stuff, but they may not be able to give emotionally or passionately (Virgo is an earth sign, after all). Most problems with a Virgo lover can be worked out if you talk with them since they are always up for self-improvement.

Venus in Virgo can suffer through a long, lonely time without a partner simply because they find too many flaws with each prospect. Some Virgos are seriously waiting for a perfect person. On the other extreme, they are always at risk of being taken advantage of because they never stop serving and helping others. They can end up in relationships with drug addicts, alcoholics, or people in trouble with the law because the Virgo lover tries to “save them.”

Virgo is a mutable sign, and it’s difficult to pin them down. They don’t begin relationships with just anybody. If a Venus in Virgo loves you, either you have perfect qualities that they admire, or you are so screwed up that it has become their mission to fix you.

How to Love Venus in Virgo

To make your Virgo lover feel loved, make them feel useful to you. They need to feel useful to feel good about themselves. Let them help you with everything, whether it is homework, housework, running errands, etc. Appreciate their self-improvement plan for your life. But more than appreciation, they want to see tangible results that their advice is working on you. They will feel loved if you’re all excited about their advice. Go vegetarian, go vegan, cut out caffeine, sign up for a fitness class, do whatever they advise you to do.

See if you can ease the stress they cause themselves by their self-criticisms. Let your Virgo lover know that they are already as close to perfect as a human can be. They will disagree with you, but they will appreciate your concern.

Accept their criticism they way you would accept it from a grandparent, knowing that they love you and mean it for your own good. Don’t be harsh with them; they will back down and you may lose them. Be kind and try to be as perfect as possible. They are analyzing your every move, even when you least expect it. They notice if you return that DVD rental a day late, or add milk to your coffee after you’ve gone vegan. Just let them know you’re trying your best to be perfect.

Your Virgo lover will only be comfortable with you if you are logical, practical, and super clean. Make your decisions using logic. For fun, play analytical puzzle games. They love exercising their minds by analyzing things. They also love taking showers. Try taking a shower together on a date. Don’t eat meals in your car, do carry around sanitizer, keep your kitchen spotless, always wear a bib, that kind of thing.

Whatever you do, don’t take advantage of these helpful, serving souls. You will be rewarded with a near-perfect lover who is also a mentor and a best friend for life.

Note: Your Venus sign shows your characteristics in close relationships, not necessarily in any other area of your life. Conjunctions to Venus from the outer planets will alter your love style.

Read more about Venus in Virgo. Read about the Earth Sign Love Language since Virgo is an earth sign. Be sure to try the free compatibility report.

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  1. Oh my! I thought this was exactly me. I was actually on my computer today feeling so unloved, unappreciated and taken advantage of by my husband. Still do, but now understand that it is more my fault for over doing it ALL…….

    Thank you for this…..

  2. “You will be rewarded with a near-perfect lover who is also a mentor and a best friend for life.”

    D’awww, that’s so sweet! ;__;

    I’ve read most of these Venus sign profiles & whoever wrote them really knows their stuff; very spot-on, accurate.

    I’m Venus in Virgo & this described me to a T.


  3. My best friend is so like this! She dumped her boyfriend because he bought her a cheap ring. She could tell it’s value from a mile away!

  4. I have both the Sun and Venus in Virgo in my natal chart. This article does explain several attitudes of mine. Very interesting!

  5. katie rhoda on said:

    Aha! Now I understand my boyfriend better. Thank you for this.

  6. Virgos? God help us all!!! on said:

    OMG? Is there really a God?? Well I think he should have done a better job. Poor Virgos? Even poorer Virgos partners.

  7. Jamie Wyeth on said:

    Call me crazy but the perfectionist part really rubs me the wrong way. If thats the case then those with a Venus in Virgo can never really be happy in relationships. As a person with a Sun in Virgo and Venus in Virgo as well as a Moon in Sagittarius, I would like to speak up for myself.

    Feeling like your not good enough stems from a place of insecurity not a hunger to be perfect. I’ve never wanted to be perfect at anything–only damn good at what I love. However, treading the waters in search of liking myself is certainly something I have struggled with, but I knew even at the age of five that I simply wanted people to like me for me. Many tend to forget that if you have a Venus in Virgo you are realistic but more importantly sincere about who you are in the company of others. Venus in virgo’s don’t put on any airs when it comes to intimate relationships, we simply want to find someone who like us and sees us for who can be, which is just as important as us loving them for who they are and can be. Being human means growing and transforming, which is a huge part of discovering all that we are capable of and more.

    And I’m far from being a clean freak. I may take notice of details and worry perhaps too much about the people I care about but I aim to help them without forcing my views onto them. I also hate criticizing.

    • virgo virgo virgo on said:

      I love how you hate criticizing and don’t force your views on people but then what is this entire comment…

      As a virgo in my sun, moon, and venus, I’m the stereotype virgo and I love it. Perfection just makes me strive to be better, but I never feel ‘incomplete’ or unhappy. If we were perfect it would be boring! There would be nothing to do! Trying to be perfect is way more self-improving than someone who prefer to not better themselves at all. Don’t see perfection in such a bad light, it’s a pretty damn good quality.

  8. Imagine all of this, security and nurturing and routine, and the through into that a Leo in Mercury. FXcking nightmare. I want change, I burn things so I can get to the next hot mess. I do this Virgo in Venus stuff for my friends, and yeah, if I stop caring I stop doing that sort of stuff. I spent most of my teenagedhood solving others problems for them or cancelling my engagements to be their friend or whatever. Sounds sorta true, except tempered by a heavy Leo fire.

    • I hear you! Add Leo sun to Mercury and the glorious awkwardness of rising Aries… And the nothing gets done while I’m still trying to make s the smallest decision of Libra in mars.. People look at my chart and suddenly feel very sorry for me.

      And so they should! Says my fishy moon!! Haha!!!

      Yeah, and I’m in love a sun, mercury and Venus Aquarian!!

      I could do stand up, just from my natal chart…

      And a happy 2019 to everyone! There are gifts in all out various celestial blue prints. Love y’s all!!!

  9. Man, I have to say…. I made a birth chart, and I have venus in Virgo but this is nothing like me. I’m much, much more scorpio in love even though I am scorpio sun/moon/mars/pluto…. I find it odd. Is such a thing possible? This description is SO unlike me in every way. Nothing about me is perfect, nothing about the lovers i choose can be described is perfect, and i don’t particularly care either way about it…. Interesting read, though.

    • Marry me ! Lol my bf has Sun in Virgo and Venus in Libra. I have Sun in Cancer and Venus in Gemini. Haha I wish he would talk to me a little more and hug me sheesh! But he makes up for it in the bedroom I guess, and we Cancers are perfectionist also. Man if he had Venus in Scorpio things might be a little easier idk I’m not complaining. Cherrio !

    • I have to agree with you! I read my birth chart and noticed even though my Sun, mars and venus are in Virgo they are all tightly conjunct right on the border of the 7th and 8th house. The 8th house is Scorpio’s territory. I was so confused why I could only half-heartedly relate to Virgo descriptions, except for looking for inner peace and improving myself as a human being. My moon is in Taurus and rising in Aquarius. So I’m instantly drawn to self-confident (non-arrogant) guys, quiet, kind, with a rugged earthy energy. Someone emotionally and mentally strong, a true rock (the way I would be for someone :)…I think Virgos are looking more for that true dependable soulmate (flaws and all)

  10. I have venus in virgo in the 12th house and it is a little strange. Because I feel also not only like virgo, but also like pisces, that thing about merging with everything but being realistic at the same time.

  11. This is so me. He tool advantage of, and took it all for granted. Taught him how to be a better man. Listened to his jealous -hear this- xwife & her friends. I hope life goes well for him with what he’s learned from me & my family. I learned from him & family that some people speak with forked tongues

  12. Thank You For beihg brave enough to comment on this post I am so Virgo it is Scary I Look to my moon and its Scopio not a lot of help I Need guidance Thank You xx

    • stephanie on said:

      Moon in scorpio means that you’re a very private and reserved person when it comes to your emotions. The moon sign represents inner emotions, comfort, what you’re like when you’re at ease and at “home.” This is the planet most people relate to the most because it’s what they sometimes hide from others, and is their true nature, in a way. You have intense emotions and feel deeply, but you don’t show this publicly so you put up a public facade of detachment. You think with your heart, and you have really good instincts when it comes to people or decisions you have to make. You’re passionate and am most comfortable with the darker side of your nature, even if you often hide this side from view. You understand darkness and genuinely have darker emotions than most people. You want to make strong attachments with things as well. As for the virgo sun, which stands for your pride, creativity, and purpose in life, your virgo sun tells me that you want to achieve your creativity through your work. Your purpose in life is to find meaning and understanding through your duties in your workplace, and that’s where you are the most creative; when you’re with your colleagues. you’re a very devoted person when it comes to that aspect of life.

  13. stephanie on said:

    I feel like I’m not venus in virgo, like the description matches me, but at the same time, venus in scorpio matches and suits me more. I am a scorpio and my dominate sign is scorpio, so maybe that explains it, but idk I just feel like venus in scorpio suits me more.

  14. Wow! This description made me cry; I feel so understood. And conversely, have always felt SO misunderstood in relationships even when I am trying my best to be mindful of my “critical” venus in Virgo ways. (The mindfulness comes from my Libra moon and the desire to always be diplomatic). I am going to save this.

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